Tuesday, 17 August 2010


We’re going to lure everyone to Antarctica
With promises of paradise and fish,
Then murder them,
And keep them in the deep freeze.

Then we’re going to live off them;
Serving up regional meals
And specialties out of the relevant
Occupants of regions renowned for cuisine.

Indian curries and Chinese chop sueys
Will use the finest specimens of flesh,
Whilst Mexican tacos
And Italian ragus will be equally well dressed.

Obviously American helpings will be
Generally oversized,
Whilst British dishes will be battered
And North African platters piquant.

Regrettably there’ll be nations we’ll struggle
To accurately represent,
And whole continents whose culinary
Contents will elude us completely,

But we’ll breathe more easily knowing
The population problem has been solved,
And will remain eternally sustained
By the varied tastes the world has to offer.

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